I am the very model of a genius mathematical,

For I can do mechanics, both dynamical and statical,
Or integrate a function round a contour in the complex plane,
Yes, even if it goes off to infinity and back again;
Oh, I know when a detailed proof’s required and when a guess’ll do
I know about the functions of Laguerre and those of Bessel too,
I’ve finished every tripos question back to 1948;
There ain’t a function you can name that I can’t differentiate!

I’ve read the text books and I can extremely quickly tell you where
To look to find Green’s Theorem or the Principal of d’Alembert
Or I can work out Bayes’ rule when the loss is not Quadratical
In short I am the model of a genius mathematical!
For he can work out Bayes’ rule when the loss is not Quadratical
In short he is the model of a genius mathematical!

Oh, I can tell in seconds if a graph is Hamiltonian,
And I can tell you if a proof of 4CC’s a phoney ‘un
I read up all the journals and I’m ready with the latest news,
And very good advice about the Part II lectures you should choose.
Oh, I can do numerical analysis without a pause,
Or comment on the far-reaching significance of Newton’s laws
I know when polynomials are soluble by radicals,
And I can reel off simple groups, especially sporadicals.
For he can reel off simple groups, especially sporadicals [Tris]

Oh, I like relativity and know about fast moving clocks
And I know what you have to do to get round Russel’s paradox
In short, I think you’ll find concerning all things problematical
I am the very model of a genius mathematical!
In short we think you’ll find concerning all things problematical
He is the very model of a genius mathematical!

Oh, I know when a matrix will be diagonalisable
And I can draw Greek letters so that they are recognizable
And I can find the inverse of a non-zero quaternion
I’ve made a model of a rhombicosidodecahedron;
Oh, I can quote the theorem of the separating hyperplane
I’ve read MacLane and Birkoff not to mention Birkoff and MacLane
My understanding of vorticity is not a hazy ‘un
And I know why you should (and why you shouldn’t) be a Bayesian!
For he knows why you should (and why you shouldn’t) be a Bayesian! [Tris]

I’m not deterred by residues and really I am quite at ease
When dealing with essential isolated singularities,
In fact as everyone agrees (and most are quite emphatical)
I am the very model of a genius mathematical!
In fact as everyone agrees (and most are quite emphatical)
He is the very model of a genius mathematical!

—From the CUYHA songbook, Cambridge (privately distributed), 1976