Evan A. Sultanik, Ph.D.

Evan's First Name @ Sultanik .com

Computer Security Researcher
Trail of Bits

Recent Content:

Cycling from Philadelphia, PA to Reston, VA

In which I once again make poor life decisions fueled by stubbornness.

A couple days ago, Rob Lass and I embarked on an epic journey from Philadelphia to Reston, VA (just outside of Washington, D.C.)… by bicycle. We had a business meeting in Reston—which is only about 160 miles away—so we figured we’d give cycling a shot. Deep down neither of us thought we could make it, but neither of us were man enough to admit that, so we tried anyway. One puncture, one bike-to-bike collision, one hail storm, weird sunburn, too many bad directions, and many, many hills later, we made it there and back in one piece. Overall, it was a very positive experience for the both of us.

Pictures are available here.

Lessons learned:

  • For anyone that is reasonably in shape, long distance touring is 85% mental.
  • Touring gear (e.g., racks and panniers) add a lot of weight, and weight makes a huge difference. I used a rack trunk and a handlebar bag, which made my bike top heavy and made steering awkward. It also prevented me from pulling a Natty Fab.
  • Even if you wear sunscreen, you’ll get sunburn and tanned in the weirdest places (see the pictures linked above).
  • Even though I used a fixed gear, I’m really glad I at least had a front brake; it was essential on the huge hills around the PA/MD border.
  • Route 1 is the best way to get from Philadelphia to Baltimore. Much of Route 1 is a four lane highway, but there’s a huge shoulder that allows for two bikes to ride abreast. It’s also legal for bikes to ride along the shoulder.
  • There is nothing between Kenett Square and the suburbs of Baltimore. Literally. We had to make an 8 mile detour just to get some lunch.
  • GPS is invaluable, especially for finding the nearest restaurant, hotel, or convenience store when in the middle of nowhere, vi&., between Kenett Square and Baltimore.
  • Never underestimate your appetite. All-you-can-eat places are great.
  • You probably don’t want to ride further than White Marsh, Maryland after dark. This is coming from someone who lives in West Philly. White Marsh is really nice, though, and has a lot of great places to stay/eat, especially around to I-95.
  • We were told that the Bike Washington cue sheet was the best way to get from Baltimore to D.C. It was great, however, it was originally written by people going the opposite direction (i.e., from D.C. to Baltimore). Therefore, some of the directions were wrong; for example, at mile 14.6 you really want to make a right onto Park Circle. Also, the warning about a big hill at mile 30.9 was really a downhill for us; we got really confused and thought we were lost because we never got to a big climb.
  • Getting across D.C. from Union Station to the Francis Scott Key Bridge took a lot longer than expected.
  • The Custis and W&OD trails are amazing.
  • Taking a lot of turns on small roads takes a lot of time; it took us the same amount of time to get from Philly to Baltimore (~100 miles down Route 1) as it did to go from Baltimore to Reston (~65 miles on dozens of different roads).
  • Riding through a hail storm is not fun.

Nathan Fabian

In which an innocent cyclist is rudely introduced to the Internet.

Fixed Gear Gallery (FGG) is a daily-updated website that has a photo gallery of… you guessed it… fixed gear bicycles. Last Friday, a fellow by the name of Nathan Fabian submitted these pictures to the FGG. You might notice that the second picture on the page features Mr. Fabian executing a no-handed track stand, whilst making a lewd gesture at the camera. This is interesting, since the FGG discourages (and sometimes even disallows) pictures of bikes’ owners.

A thread on the Single Speed/Fixed Gear sub-forum on bikeforums.net was created complaining about the submission to FGG, simultaneously making fun of Mr. Fabian for the lewd gesture and ridiculous pose. The thread is available here. Photoshopping of the original images naturally ensued. This thread now has the potential to become like the now-famously epic, ~500-page-long, so-called “Sherdog Guido thread” (note: the thread was deleted, but a good recap video can be found here).

Here are some of my contributions to the Fabian thread:

                  .JUz?++Jw0!`                                              ..&aex+.
                 J0C+`..+XC:                                 .jgggaa&J....JdHMNNMHkwz+.....++..
               .+UI++^.dXC!                             ...JdXMHHNN#MNmmXWHMN##NMMMNNNNNNNHNNmc`
            ..uXV1+!.JzZk&++                          dwXWNMMMNMH#MMNNMNMMMMM##NNMMMMMMNN##NNMk?+.
         .JJvCwv!``.?zUUWM8:                          jWMMMMMNMNNHMMMMNN###MMNNNMMMMMH#MMNNNMNNQQmo..
      .&XYC+JzI!..+zwwzzwwI                           dMMMMNN#NMMMMMMMMMMHMMMNMMMMNMNNNMMN#NM#H#NMNme+.
     jXC:+1wZ!`.?+OOz++1dHc                         .JdMMMMMN#NNMMNNMMN##NMMMMMNNMMN##NN#NNMMNNNMNNMMNc
    `dHkwz+ztl=?++++zz1?+jW0.               .zXMNMMNNNMMMNNNMN#NNMN#NMNNNN#MN#HHNM#NMMNMMMMMH#NNNNNNMM0!+.
     `XHWkwwO+:;;?==zz;+zzyI`               `jMN#MNNNNNNNN#NN#HHHHHHMNNNNNMMMMmMMNMMMM#N#NMN##H#NNN#MNk+1z.
       ?WkHkOz+++++++;+zwdWC                .JM######NNMMMNNNNM#HH#NNN##NM@MMHqHM#HMM@HMNNHNMM@HNMNHHNMNHmx?+
          ZWXZZZXOttI+:;1O:                 jXMMMMN#HH#NMHMMNMMMM#H@@mHHWXZl????;+!!????UUVOz=zlrXHHN####NMR.
           ?Xyuuuzrl=;;+=z!                 ?jWNNNMM#MNMMMMMMNMMM#MHH@gmHXvO=?=?;;+:`^^`+++;??=ltXWM#######HI
          ..dyyXuvrlzz?=lv                  .?WNMMMMMNNMM##NNM##NNNNNMMHHWXO=?????+:^^^:.;;;??=OvXWMNNNNN#MK:
          `XbWXuXv1zOOOwOl                  `?dMMMNNNNNNMMNMMMHM##MMNMMHXXVv???=??++::;:?;;???ztrXWMNN####NC`
          .dpSztOz+!++zOI!                   .dMMMMNMN##MMHMWHMMMMMMNMMHHSl====?++;;::^.:;;;??=lrXHMN###N##:`
         .dWHWXOz;;+++zwI                     jHMMNNN#NNMMNHM96!?OWMMHMkXZz=lzzzzzz&+?+;++???=zwqHMMNNHHNMD+
         .dHHbWZz;;+1OwI!                     `1XMNNMMMMNMNNNx++J+.vHMHH0z==ztrrvZwXWHHHkOzzzwWUWMNMM#MMNMk.
         ?WH@HH0z?;??zZl                      `jWNNHMNMMNNNMMNm+?+?zXgH0I???+1OXwOzzwkvzVI++dWHWHH#MMNNMMM0`
        .dMHMHWXOzzlzzI!                       jHNNMMNMM##NMMMMNs,.jXHH0l=?+;^`?OWWUUC11??+`zUVwWMMNMMMNNNl
        JXMMHSuuzrttrw0!                       `WMNMN#MMHHNMMMHMMkZ1XfWkll=+;+.^:.:!``+;;;+^+wuXMNMMNMMNMH:
       .dMMHWXvzvtrrwXk+.                       ?WMNN#MMMHH###HMMMS1dWWWw==????;;;::^.+?;?;:?zXHMNMMNNMMM6!
      .dH@HHWuzzzvrvzXHkOtOz+...                 `vMMNNNNN#M@HHHMSIzzWkWOl=??;;?;;;;;??=??+!?1XMNMMMMMMBC`
     .dMH@HHWXvrtttrvXkHZl==????+..                ?TMMMMN#NMMMMHZzz?OWkwOz??;;;??;;;++=z+++?;!?7????!`^`
     .dMMHHWXztlllltwXqRI1+?;;??;1=z+.               +??7WH9!jXWWZ???+wWkwzz?????++zz+1zwwwAdI.
    .dMMHqkfWXvrtllrwWHk=?;;???;???lOw&.                  `.z0rwzO=?;;+vWHkwwzz?=zZ0VOOwwwwXU:
   .dMMMqHWXuzvOlttwXWHS??;?;????+zOtwXI`                  `1=zOrI??;;??zWHkXuOzzlz??zOOwzXS!
   JdMMHkpfZuuzwtttwXpH0?;;?;???zlllwZl`                    `+1ll=??;;;??zZWWkkXwOl==lzzOXuI
 ..dHHHHpVyZuzzrrrruyWW0???????==ztOZl`                      `+????;;;;;??==ZWHHkkAz++++lOWI
 .jWMMHpVyyZuzrrrrrzZWfk?????=lllwzwv`                        `++?;;?;;;??;?zOwXWHHHkmAwXU=
 .dMMMqWZZZZuuvrtttwZWHkl=====ztwuZv`.                         `+:;;;;??;????===trwU=!
`.dMMHHWZuuuzrrrrttzZWbkOOl=ltrzXZC!`                           ``::;;??????=lttrwZ!
`?WHMHfyyZuvrtttrtrzuXbHXXOltrwXW0:``                            ``?;;;;???zztttOv
`JWHHHyyyZXrrvrtlttvvwWHWXrrrwXWC!`                                 `++;++1zOIz?!
 dMMHWVyyuuzvrttlltrvXWkHkuXwdHD!`                                   `

The Great Cat Massacre

or, More Evidence that the French are Bunch of Psychopaths

Excerpts from The Great Cat Massacre: and Other Episodes in French Cultural History by Robert Darnton:

Crowds made bonfires… threw objects into them… [a] favorite object was cats—cats tied up in bags, cats suspended from ropes, or cats burned at the stake. Parisians liked to incinerate cats by the sackful, while the Courimauds (cour à miaud, or cat chasers) of Saint Chamond preferred to chase a flaming cat throughout the streets. In parts of Burgundy and Lorraine they danced around a kind of burning May pole with a cat tied to it. In the Metz region they burned a dozen cats at a time in a basket on top of a bonfire. The ceremony took place with great pomp in Metz itself, until it was abolished in 1765. The town dignitaries arrived in procession at the Place du Grand-Saulcy, lit the pyre, and a ring of riflemen from the garrison fired off volleys while the cats disappeared screaming in the flames.

I feel it is relevant and particularly enlightening to note that the French national anthem has a special verse, only to be sung by children, in which the singer pledges to enter the military, die in battle, and share a coffin with his or her parents.

AAMAS 2005

This blog entry is a special case within the set of all possible blog entries.

I’m still not up to the blog-update-frequency at which I’d be content, however, this is partially due to my attending another conference. I am currently in Utrecht in the Netherlands for AAMAS. It’s very rainy here, and pretty chilly, but I am having a great time. I’ll post some pictures in the coming days, but, in the mean time, here are some interesting quotes that were uttered during a simulation workshop I attended the day before yesterday (most of which can be attributed to Moss and Castelfranchi):

For 10 years, the agents community has struggled to do something useful.
Formalism gives precision.
Game theory is a failed paradigm.
Verification does not imply Validation.
You can have prediction without a description of process. In social science, we know the process but cannot predict.
Parameterizing competition is not legitimate.
In agent-based simulation, formulation does not require quantification.
Measurement Dysfunction!

And my favorite…

The ‘Real World’ is a special case within the set of all possible worlds.

Women, fast roadsters, and small computers!

Photoshop Failure

Can anyone tell me why the businesswoman in the Transmeta/OQO promotional photo (pictured above) is driving a Lotus/Caterham 7?

AAAI 2004

In which I provide evidence of my trespass onto Google’s new campus.

As Merz said, we recently attended the Nineteenth National Conference on Artificial Intelligence in San Jose California. I just finished uploading the final set of my pictures, which can be found here. There you will even find pictures from inside Google Labs (we “snuck in”).

Spammers are getting smart!

In which spammers finally realize that OCR has yet to pass the Turing Test.

I received my first CAPTCHA spam today! It was basically a blank e-mail with an attached JPEG image. The image was altered such that it could not be read by any current optical text recognition (OCR) software. By stochastically altering the modifications to the image for each piece of spam that is sent, no two pieces of spam will look alike. Furthermore, the content is still human-readable, but, as mentioned above, is not yet discernible by any spam filtering software. The content of the image read as follows:

Профессиональные E-mail рассылки!
Тел: (095) 968-76-23
Более 4-х лет на рыенке рекламы!

Basically, they are advertising a professional E-mail distribution service that’s been around for more than 4 years! I find it mildly amusing that they are advertising a phone number rather than an e-mail address or website.

Note: they misspelled “рыенке;” it should really be “рынке.”

Canine Atkins

Because dogs deserve to have the chance to ruin their kidneys, too.

Dogs can now cut carbs, too! Check it out!

National Television Debut

In which I boast about some inane metrics.

I made my national television debut on August 1st 2004 at 22:30 EST. My parents finished building their dream house a year or so ago; they bought a barn up in Allentown and had it moved, re-assembled, and modernized. They, my sister, and myself were interviewed for House & Garden TV. Pretty exciting, but it’s not exactly the way one dreams of making his or her mass media debut. On the bright side, the host of the show, Troy Norton, appeared in the movie Hoodwinked! with Andy Dick, who appeared in Road Trip with Rachel Blanchard, who appeared in Where the Truth Lies with Kevin Bacon, giving me a finite Bacon Number bounded above by 4. This combines with my current Erdős Number of 4 to give me a finite Erdős–Bacon number bounded above by 8. Eat your heart out, Carl Sagan, for I am the master of inane metrics!

Speaking of mass media, I was lucky enough to sit in on a recording of Fresh Air a couple weeks ago. Did you know they still record it on reel-to-reel?


(Presumably to destroy X10)

Kompressor, made popular by his industrial musik beat, is running for president. I guess no one told him that one needs to be born in the USA to be president. Oh well, at least he’d be marginally more entertaining than Dubya. Kompressor also would promote dental hygiene, vitamin use, and mathematics. Thanks to my “partner in crime” Joshua Shaffer for pointing this out.